5 things that bother at 25…Quarter Life Crisis

We live in a country, where most of the population is youth- the people aged from 20-30, whose life is often stressful, without any particular reason.They have high ambitions and low self awareness, big dreams, but small bank balances, huge network, but less friends…we basically are a confused generation. While each one of us thinks that we are the only one with a bagful of worries, the fact is, we all are in the same boat…
My idle brain is habitual of coming up with some weird lists. Today, I thought about some quarter life crisis faced by most of my peers, or me….
We have decent paying jobs, not so luxurious - yet tension free life, still we are not happy.Here’s why most of us are worried….

1. I will work hard, and hard and harder, but why?
Most of us are driven by motivation; we are brought up in a manner that we look for rewards before performing. “Finish your homework, and you will get a chocolate”. “Get 1^st rank in class, and this GI joe is yours”  these baits drove our childhood..
“Get selected in football team, and then the girls will start noticing you” “Hit the gym, and that handsome hunk will come drooling after you” Such motivations kept our spirits high during teenage..but what now?
For the initial years in jobs, most of us were fooled by the “promotion” and “hike” bait showed by the manager; but as we matured, the sad realization of lack of motivation dawns upon us.
We all have our individual “To Do” lists, but are just too lethargic to start working on it.

2. Pyaar me sau uljhaney hai, pyaar mat karma@ Relationship woes/vows
Gone are the days of sweet romances and mushy relationships. By the age of 25, most of us have had one sided crushes, (probably on that most famous guy in school, who was always surrounded by the cool dudes, and we just stalked his FB profile) , or on that cute girl, who unfortunately was already committed to someone, while you were friend-zoned. The luckier ones have been into relationships, been there, done that! They have experienced the sweetness of loving and being loved- but soon the practical reality of “future”  takes the better of them, and now they have that insurmountable void,and have learnt to live with the pain of heart break. Those small percentage, who manage to get sailing on the boat of love, usually face hell lot of difficulties. Such couples live the life of Alia and Arjun in 2 states. Convincing their families, struggling every day to make their love story a happily ever after type fairy tale.
The above 3 categories cover almost all the youth of today , if you still misfit in them…then you are probably one of those innocent mumma’s boy, or daddy's daughter, who is lucky to be left with some child like innocence. Doesn’t mean your life is unproblematic though – coz friends around you make you feel miserable by discussing their problems, you can not really relate to them, and feel frustrated for feeling left out ….

3. Hum kis gali jaa rahe hai..apna koi thikaana nahi…
Yes, Sid of wake up Sid and Hrithik of Lakshya are not just movie characters- they are a replica of our lives. We are hurtling along the highways of invincibility- reporting daily to our jobs, without knowing any destination or future. For most of us, we often go on introspective mode- and feel there is something missing- something that would make us happy.This is a recurring feeling, that fades momentarily in the company of friends, on a happy day, but in a minute of solitude, it returns. Despite a well paying job, a set routine, professional satisfaction and everything being fine…there is still this blankness. A blankness that gulfs almost all the youth- a craving for betterment.

4. Dost dost naa raha:
On first reading, this point may seem totally irrelevant- we all have over 500 contacts added on facebook, are glued to whatsapp whole day. We wake up with pings from one friend, and sleep wishing goodnight to another. Our life revolves around ‘likes’ and comments,yet, sometimes, in lonely moments, we fail to pick up any single contact to call and blabber. Friends are merely the “contacts” now- bound by relationships which thrive on forwarded messages. We no longer communicate, we only chat. These chats merely keep us busy, and help us live in a fake virtual world, where we are active, and self proclaimed socialites, yet, we are losing the essence of friendship.
Sadly, most of us lack true friends at the age of 25. We gradually realize that the chuddy buddies or school gang of hooligans, who knew us well have drifted apart for a long time now. They are more like acquaintances, to merely wish Holi Diwali. The college friends , who are somewhat closer by heart, are burdened by same problems like us, there are cities dividing us. We try being practical, and do not fuss about our busy lives.
Unfortunately, we earn money, but have no one to spend it with- we keep planning re unions- most of which never happen. We end up partying with office colleagues or peers, who usually, are just an interim arrangement….because deep within, we miss the old days, and wish to turn back time.

5. Upvote, like, +1, approve!
Yes, this is another big problem most of us face. We always seek approvals and appreciation.We compare ourselves with others, and in the process, we ignore our own strengths.
We worry about our health, not because we need to be fit, but because others around us are healthy. We click pics, not to create memories, but to upload and get likes. We buy new gadgets, not because they attract us, but because they attract the attention of others around us. We put make up or use photo editing softwares,just to hide our so called imperfections. We have become hypocrites, just to gain approval and acceptance.
We easily get affected by our surroundings, and turn a blind eye towards our own morals and principles.Though most of us will not admit, but deep within our mind, we are always in competition- not a healthy competition with our own self..but a blind race to imitate others. We no longer put efforts to carve our own personality, instead we try to get the best of everything, and end up with nothing but a confused dis satisfied soul…..

These , and many other such things are the main cause of mental unrest for the youth today.Lucky are the ones, who realise that life is too short to waste in worrying about these small things , which will ot even matter some years down the line. We take ourselves too seriously, no body else does!
No one even cares what we are, or how good or bad we feel..what actully matters is our own peace of mind, that comes internally...by loving yourself and by valuing each day of this beautiful life... :-)
Live it!
Love it!

Disclaimer: This list may vary for each one of us, I just jotted down the points based on my observations and among my limited friend circle.

4 things that matter the most..

It is during the troughs of life , that you realize the true importance of those things and people who really matter.
The things that often come up, only through deep introspection.The people, who may silently observe you fighting with fate, struggling to win, may warn you, may scold you , may even give up on efforts of explaining things to you- but it's those people, who ultimately pick you up, when you are broken, and will fix you up.
Like I always believe, happiness is a state of mind- but the state, which can not be bought, a state that can't be achieved in a flash of second.
One is never lonely on the bright sunny days, when you are all set to rock the world with your dazzling smile. Happy people , charming personalities and radiant smiles attract people.
It's easy to multiply joys in a happy mind, but it is during those dark moments of solitude, that you actually need some company- the people who can deal with your crap, and can share their smile with you, when you have lost yours....
They bring back your faith in life, and make you fit enough to fight back...

Over the past few days, I have greatly found some good things about life

The top most of the list is FAMILY... they are the best thing that has ever happened to mankind.Most of us tend to be ignorant when it comes to expressing our love towards those people who brought us on earth, or who have been with us since the time we started breathing...
We mostly take them for granted- mistake their affection as interference, mistake their care for possessiveness, and their advises as lectures. In the teenage jitters, we even secretly wish to run away from the restrictions, or the household discipline-we eagerly await the time when we can fly in the open sky, and explore the limitless world.....but after spending 3 years away from home, and having to deal with the "limitless world"- one craves for the safe and cosy home. It's a relief that however bad everything turns out to be- there is always a fall back point called Family. Even if you don't discuss your problems with them, they will watch your back - when no one is around , they invariably come to rescue- their silent support, and a soft word of care gives the strength to face everything . Despite the fact that friends are important, but even the closest friend can not replace family. Family is like the last candle left in life, that is kept in a corner, but comes to rescue when the torch's battery dies out ...


The other best thing to happen is life is FRIENDS. These are the people who face the same problems like you, and so, you can cry together and feel lighter in each others company. They make you realize that  life is equally unfair to all of us, and because they don't take you so seriously, you can always blabber in front of them- without the fear of being taken to courtroom for all your weirdness or visiting a psychiatrist for getting lunatic.There is no fixed definition of a friend, but whatever the concept is- it is simply beautiful. At any stage of life, if there's a person , who can make you feel important, by just a patient hearing- that is a friend. They are the people who know the worst about you, and still handle you. They know when to take you seriously, and when to just make fun of your stupidities. They are the people, who will be willing to handle your mood swings - even at 4 am in the morning, and will introduce you to the good and bad things that you can together explore. Without friends, there is no sharing, no caring, no excitement--In short, having one good friend at every stage of life gives you the confidence to conquer the world. Even if you kick your enemy, and rush back to your friends- they will stand up to save you, they will arrange your bail if you are ever arrested, or will sit in the jail to give you company. They are your partners in weirdness, and punch bags to deal with your verbal bouts  :-)

The third best thing to happen in life is LOVE- an emotion which is both over rated and under rated. Over rated by those who have experienced it, and under rated by those who have failed to fall in love till now. Something, which can not be explained- but can only be felt. When both family and friends fail- your lover comes to your rescue- a strong hug will melt you down, and a steady embrace will not solve any problem- but will make you feel needed. Even if you feel totally flawed, imperfect, careless and all useless-- the mere look in the eyes of your lover will make all you blind of all your shortcomings. The desire to make him happy, and the sense of responsibility towards him will give you the motivation to deal with your negativity. You will have to improve your mood, because you can not afford to spoil your lovers mood for long enough.
Even after crying incessantly for hours, you will have to step out of the dark room, and comb your hair, before meeting him. He will be the reason for you to take care of yourself- because you know there is atleast one person who cares if you are sad. :-) (Family and friends care too , but this care is quite different)

The next good thing is life is INTERNET. Yes, I agree that I may sound like a net addict here, but internet is a savior during bad moods- you can spend hours doing nothing over internet- yet, at the end of the day, you will find some solace, atleast temporarily. There are many people who share their experiences online, reading them all makes you motivated. There are articles like "20 things to know when you are 20" or "37 things people regret while dying" , or "places to visit before you die" or " 25 books you cant miss reading", "Movies that change the world"...these , and many similar lists divert your attention from the current problem- and give your life a new direction.
They encourage you to learn from mistakes done by others, they motivate you to explore more of the world, and they show you that some emotions are same throughout the world- that you are not the only person unhappy in the world.
Internet is a blessing, if used properly. You never know when you get one step forward in solving your problem, and through internet, taking those steps becomes easier.




There are many other good things in life, like good food, strong network of acquaintances, old photographs and memories, evening stroll and watching kids play, talking to strangers and finding out something new, giving and receiving compliments,helping and being helped, etc etc..they all bring happiness in small packets..
Even if our mind fails to admit this, but the fact is that we only live once, and it is totally upto us to live that one life happily.
Even though people complain that life is a challenge, still, there are new opportunities, there are good people, there are newer things in life- all one needs is to take a break, quick fix their lost mind and the gather the courage to explore this beautiful life    :-)