vacations versus life

Absurd title?isn't it?
Actually i got my vacations on-the time of the year i eagerly wait for!all set with new and innovative plans-which gym to join?which classes to attend?which places to visit?which books to read?which new language to learn?which new skill to enhance?all is planned and the plans are just perfect!!
and to be honest..often d planning is done long before the time starts..."my tym" starts..infact..all through the year..watever attracts me--and i can not do because of the so called"out of time"busy schedule"excuses..i plan to fix dese tasks up in this duration..all is set..jst wait fer the countdown to begin..wen i finally gt some "break" from the monotony of my life..
the very frst week of holidays..i feel like a prisoner set free by mistake..doing all things like never before!enjoying evry moment like never before!sleeping till noon..keeping awake till early morning hrs,,tht too to do all fun stuff..chatting..movies..computers..novels..and what not!
its "my tym"..and i enjoy it in my ways..absolutely foregtting abt the graver plans i had made for myself..enjoying the present..enjoying my laziness..enjoying my randomness..all seems jst perfect!
But soon as the days pass...i start getting bored..bored of the randomness..no longer do i find my ways interesting..the same computer fails to entertain me anymore..no book i find interesting..it is den wen i realise what plans i had made for myself..what i actually wanted to do these holidays..bt often its very late by then..those who didnot waste those initial days like i did..they are busy wth their plans..bt i feel as if i am on a dead end..wth registrations closed..wth no hope..i silently get irritated..and wait fer d remaining of my holidays to pass ..unenjoyed..under-utilised..though dere is this guilt of wasting so many precious days..bt i hv givn up..no hopes to make the rest of it!
same often happens wth our lifes..
when i ws a child..i had my plans..i wanted to be this..i wanted to do that.and all seemed perfect..bt i hardly realised..hw tym actually passed by..hw "my tym" started..when i should have been focusing..i hardly realised..when othrs around me started new things..Then i turned back..i realised hw mny opportunities i had wasted..i silently declare myself a loser..wth no hopes of attainment of my original plans..i am depressed..bt weak to own it up..or wrk upon it..bt is this how life should be???
though i missed a few opportunities..bt still the vacations are not yet over..who knows i might find some gym wth 1 valid registration?join aerobics if nt swimming?if not singapore..visit shimla atleast..if nt a 45 days course..get a self study book atleast..dont give up so easily..dont wait for the rest of time to pass by..utilise it..use tht whts left..who knws..those last..few days may give u self satisfaction..a hope to make dese holidays intersting..
who knws..opportunities of success may knock your door again..be vigilant..ready for that ..
keep reminding urself wt u had planned for yourself..and tht vl give u the vision..the enrgy..the motivation..
do not look where u fell..instead look where you slipped..and then catch on..
the sin is not in falling down..but in staying down..
get ready to be successfull.
keep smiling till then..

Approvals...

Life is interesting na!Sometimes strange..inexplicable..small things matter so much..few people matter so much..their opinions matter so much..their appreciation matters so much..
This i realised today..and actually discovered that it had been so right from the day i was born..
When i was born..someone cuddled me and admired my cuteness..tht made my mom proud of herself..as i grew up..i looked around for small appreciations..if i broke a glass or a toy or did any pranks..i was hardly bothered about WHAT I feel..what mattered was how my parents REACTED to it!!
Even today..as i have grown up..if i get a new haircut..exactly the one i longed for..the same i had been planning to get..for which i was so sure..but then..i dunno why..there is this strong urge to immediately meet my friends..and to see their reaction..if by any chance they disapprove...i become upset all of a sudden..to further confirm i ask for more opinions..WHY?why is this so?why do we keep looking for opinions..approvals..to be more specific!..
If i was so self satisfied about hw my hair looked..if mom was so proud of my cuteness..why did we want to hear it from others??Is this because we lack self confidence..or beacuse thts how we are!..or maybe because we all are keenly interested in others lifes..because we form opinions almost instantly..because we expect others to be as interested in our lives as we are in theirs..
Is this d case only with me??
maybe it is!
Think about it..whenevr we hangaround with friends..we get photographs clicked ..to keep them as our memories..but why the very next day..we upload d best of those pics on facebook and eagerly wait for comments..strange na??Suddenly the fun we had becomes secondary..and without our realisation..opinions and approvals take the front seat..
If i have a new crush..or met a new friend..or had a fight with someone..i would tell my close buddies about it..and keep telling till i hear.."what you did was correct!!" or even.."nah!buddy you were wrong".
Why?When earlier what i did..how i talked..whom i liked..whom i stalked..with whom i fought..wtever i shopped..whatever..it was all the best of my mind..best of my actions..best of my choice..Why to ask someone about it??
Well maybe..because thts how life is!Thats why man is called a social animal..living in the society..living for the society..knowingly or unknowlingly deeply affected by the society..(at times more affected more by others than self!)...funny though it is!!
Oops..m thinking so seriously about such a small thing..infact a part of human behaviour..our very own psychologic self..(though most of us are unaware of it!)..Such typical human trait...that too in my second post..what would people think of me!probably take me as a sadist...look..again..i seeked for others..your opinion..your approval this time...hehehe
will come up with yet another post soon..keep smiling till then..

first impression...

Hie..everyone..thts me..well new to the world of blogging..so lemme tell you before reading further...who am i?what am i?..and why i am here??
Well..to start with..i am you...exactly!!don't get me wrong here..i am a 20 yrs old college gal..born in a middle class Indian family..brought up with good morals..trying to develop an understanding of the world..i am just like any average gal..nothing extraordinary..nothing special about me..yet there is something i feel worth living for..got loads of friends..who keep making me feel important..
one day i m a complete loser..and d very next day..a princess!..no false claims of being overly pretty..nor am i very smart..nt very intelligent..neither is my life very happening..but yet its interesting enough..i try to look at the world frm my eyes..and thts wt i am here for....
my world..lemme clarify..is not a big place either..jst revolves around a few ppl called friends..and my family..
friends-an integral part of me..my strength..my weakness..through them i learn about life..about its complications..abt its simplicity..i just feel it!!enjoy it!! and thts wt i am here for..to share the joys of an average life with average ppl..
my life revolves around my family..small things like a fight with a friend..like scolding frm mom..like poor results..like a friend"s ignorance..like a new crush..dey all mean to me..and thts all wt i intend to blog about!
i donot intend to use heavy words nor complicated vocabulary..coz frankly thts not my cup of tea.. i donot promise to tell you any great "mills and boon" love story..nor a paulo coelho's inspiritional one..coz frankly dere is no hero yet..nor have i achieved something worth being an inspirition..(though both these will definitely be achieved..soon..very soon..)yet by reading me ..you will feel connected..coz i live your life..feel the life of an average person..its entanglements..its so called complications..its simplicity!my different modes..my different moods..
so hope u all keep connecting to me!!
will catch up with you soon..to unfold a new chapter..of life..of thoughts..keep smiling till then!!