Rainy Days........

Today, on my way to office, as usual it was raining heavily. Just like all other days of previous week, today also I was mentally prepared to report late to the office, drenched in water,with my hair in a bad state, wearing an over sized jacket that certainly must have made me a funny sight, and then to wipe off the mud patches on my dress, keep rain coat to dry on the back of my chair and then finally to start my office work.
I was no longer irritated by this extra effort that I had to make, thanks to the unending rains in the city. That comes as a by product of living in cities like Mumbai and Pune- you have to face the rain- any time, sometime, all the time!
For the past two days, it has almost been raining continuously. People here are accustomed to it- they no longer get irritated when each time they carry an umbrella, or wear raincoats.
The traffic and the roads are a real sight!
The thirty minute journey is covered in atleast 45 minutes..and what is worse is the risk involved.
Every day, before sitting on the pillion of the activa- I pray that i reach safely, that we do not slip in any pothole, that no biker splashes muddy water on us and that no dirty tyre of the two wheeler brushes by our foot- ruining our dress.
While I am struck in the jam- many thoughts come to my mind everyday.I have a hobby of analyzing people , and am amused at the variety of people on one single road- every person having a story behind him, a destination to reach and some work to attend.

Every person having a different mindset, different expression, different reaction.Yet, among all the differences, every one stands on the same road.
Yesterday, I saw a man who traveled with his full size dog on a two wheeler. Girls off course feared to even get near that activa even in a traffic jam, the dog barked whenever any vehicle stood too close to its face and almost bit a biker who dared to evade its personal space. The people around complained, but the pet's owner simply did not care.
There was another person who had to carry a big size suitcase, and chose to tie it to the side of his bike. He was driving at a good speed, when sudddenly the handle of his suitcase broke and it fell down. The vehicle just behind it almost got hit by that suitcase. It could have been a bad accident, thankfully the rider turned lucky.
There was another lady who held a gas cylinder on the pillion of the bike. In the jam, a truck came by the side of that bike, the driver of the truck threw a burnt cigarette out of the window, it narrowly missed the lady carrying the cylinder! Thankfully it did!
In the hustle bustle of the traffic, there were a few people who valued time even more than their life- as they took all possible shortcuts,without even considering the risk involved.They were not a bit hesitant in taking their bikes on the muddy road or even on the footpath. There were one such driver, whose wife carried a very small baby on the pillion. Apparently he got inspired by other bikers, who opted for the footpath and he too followed the suit. Unfortunately, he lost the balance, and both the lady and the kid fell down.The baby fell in the drain and cried uncontrollably. Worse was when the traffic cleared just at that time, and the people around preferred to move ahead, than assist the family on the footpath.
These and many other incidences happen on road almost all the times, especially during rains!Earlier rains were my favorite season.Sitting inside the house, I associated it with joy, the pleasant weather and fantasized about long drives in the drizzles.My friends could never understand my fascination about the season , but now, thanks to my stay in Pune, I also know the other side of a rainy day!
I have seen people getting worried about their laptops before stepping out of office, i have seen people carry extra clothes to workplace, just in case they need it for emergencies, i have seen people get injured due to accidents on the road and many other problems that arise due to rains.
This side of a rainy day is totally contrast to the one they show in movies or in descriptions about the season.
Anyways..Hope the rainy season continues to bring happiness and freshness in the moods of everyone and also the people realize the imprtance of being cautious on roads in this climate!

Wedding season

Today, as i opened facebook, I got to know that two of my college mates got engaged this weekend and their mariages are scheduled for the next quarter. This has now become very common, as I am progressing towards mid twenties, many of my peers are heading towards the nuptails.
Most of the times, I just like their pics and congratulate them,mentally calculating one more removal from the list of eligible maidens I knew.. ;-)
Yesterday, my roomie broke the news about her best friend getting engaged.She had goosebumps while sharing the news with me.. That made me think a little deeper into the situation..
I wonder how I would feel when any of my close buddies would head for marriage. I will certainly be happy for her, but deep within there would be a pleothra of feelings- a mixed state of emotions..
Last month a close friend told me that she was seeing someone and their relationship was now getting a little serious, to the extent that they sought for a future together. She appeared to be calm and confident.Yet, when she broke the news ..I was a little shocked and maybe even disturbed.
I was scared as well as excited!
Scared , maybe about losing her.Excited,  about her excitement for the same..
Offcourse I am protective as well as possessive about her, not that her fiancee would anyways be less concerned about her well being, but I would certainly have to share my space with him. Certainly her priorities would shift from the senseless chit chats we did, to a greater more responsible level of maturity. I would no longer hold the same value as I presently do. Things would certainly change, sooner or later. That thought made me a little low.Yet, I was very happy for her! She seemed to be enjoying this new phase in her life and wished to share the joy with me..she described everything in detail and seeked my approval too.
I was overwhelmed and blank at her state of mind- her nervousness, her shy smile and the passion with which she described her new found love. This was a reason for me to know that she was happy.. She kept describing him, and I was glad that she had finally found someone to fill the voids in her life...
For the next few days, all she talked about was her conversations with him, about the changes in her life, how busy she had been because of him and how much attention he needed.I did not know how to react.Suddenly he was the fulcrum of her life.His habits, his nature, his family, his liking- disliking was all she cared for!
Like a good friend,I patiently listened to her, gave her my best possible advises and tried to be around in whatever situation she needed me....yet i could feel that the connection was gradually amiss.
While i looked at her like my old friend, she was gradually changing. Her life was now revolving around that relationship , her in laws, the wedding preparations and the similar things. Being a nuave in that department, I could no longer relate to anything pertaining to her.

Today the situation is such that we hardly talk on the phone.She is too busy with him, and I do not feel like disturbing her, moreover I am not very interested in talking about a person or a situation where I can hardly make any difference. Even if we talk, it is mostly about how her relationship was going. At times, i know she is going through a rough patch, yet I cant really help her.At times, when she calls up to share her excitement, i do not relate very well to it. What is even more weird is that she does not seem to mind the gap.Or maybe she is too busy with her adaptations that she fails to notice the gap popping up..
Like a sensible person, i have placated myself on the pertext of human psychology. I try to understand her viewpoint and look at only the positive aspects at her end. I try my best to act selflessly and to be happy in her happiness.
I know she is happy and that she has taken a step ahead in her life!
I also realise that very soon, I too would be taking that step, and maybe then I could again connect with her like before.
Till that time, I just wish the best for all those who are new in relationships or about to get married. I realize how challenging it is to ramp up with his greater responsibility in life, you certainly need lot of time and patience to settle in with the changes!
I also wish that "still single" people like me do not feel lonely or frustrated or whatever to see everyone getting married.Someone special is waiting for you too...there is still some time left, to learn from the experiences around and to share the joy of others :-)

We are all slaves

"Boss is always right!"
This is the mantra taught to many salesmen and the people involved in public dealings, where customers are their boss.In offices , seniors are the boss. In colleges, teachers are the boss. In a shop, the owner is a boss! There are bosses all around! Everywhere, there is a higher authority , who is treated like a boss and the subordinates become overly submissive. This is such a frequent practise and is embedded in the mindset of the people. The effect is clearly visible in activities of our day to day life, especially in offices.

I find it weird! Demeaning! Disrespectful!

I work in IT sector, where we earn our bread from the foreign clients. We are taught to greet them in their language, we work in the timings that suit them, we follow their conventions, so much so that we use their accent while our interactions. The situation is weird at times... it gets funny when a South Indian tries to speak in an American accent..it looks even more funnier, when on a Friday eve,  a grey haired man, seated in a dull office cubicle, seated in front of a laptop greets in an animatedly over cheering voice with a foreign accent  - " Hellooooo Miss Briganza! A very good morning to you! How have you been? " The moment he puts down the phone, suddenly all the sweetness vanishes and the Hindustani seriousness takes over..
It feels weird , when during a call, suddenly one of the participants puts the call to mute- vents his frustration in local language and then resumes to talk all affirmative things in the call.It is not just about the foreign culture and foreign clients, we keep our actions under check even under the seniors..We live in a fake world and are constantly under the pressure of laying positive impressions..
I felt weird when a senior guy was sitting idle in office, and constantly checking the availablity status of his senior , the minute the senior logged out, he too left the office.Was it so important to show the boss about his sincerity that he simply wasted his time , which could otherwise be well spent with family. Why could he not just finish his work and leave whenever possible, unguided by his boss's eye over him.
In colleges, it is funny how suddenly the facebook and such social sites get minimised when the teachers passes by.Or why the book is always opened during a lecture, even if the mind is wandering elsewhere..
When the owner is around, suddenly the phone becomes secondary for the shopkeeper, and he is in his best possible conduct...
Such and many similar incidences make me feel bad at times...

What do these things mean? Do we really need to be affected this much by our seniors- do we really need to fake ourselves almost everytime and be conscious of our conduct. Is it the work that counts, or is it the showcasing of sincerity that matters?

I realise this may be important in some situations. But I feel one should also understand the fact that seniors too are humans.They maybe judging you at times, but your fake conduct too maybe noticed.As long as you are genuine, they maybe acceptable to your originality.They too are made of same flesh and bones as you, they are not some Gods to dictate your life and certainly they do not deserve that much imporatnace to guide your day to day conduct. Discipline and sincerity should come from within ourselves.
We should have the right to decide our limits and to set up a level , where we do not compromise with our self respect and can feel free.
It is not justified to create a fake world , guided by constant pressure of portraying oneself as sincere or dedicated.Be honest to yourself, and then we would not need to behave like a slave and be conscious about the bosses eye to decide our conduct.....

Welcome Myself! :-P

For the past so many days, I have been suffering from the worst feeling for any writer- I had heard about the writers block and read about similar things from many co authors and fellow bloggers.Every time I read about it on any posts or elsewhere, I had a sense of pity and anguish mixed for those people. Sometimes, I accused them of making excuses or at times I went to the extent of blaming them for being too casual and giving priority to other things .I always thought writing was a natural process, effortless and a part of daily routine. When I was introduced to blogging, for initial few days, I became all the more observant towards life, and saw everything with a view to bring out a good blog about it. That made me feel happy, that forced me to think and be aware about my own thoughts and feelings. It kept my mind recharged and there was a constant challenge of searching for newer topics.Then gradually my blog became somewhat popular, and my habit of being observant took to newer heights.I felt good when people related to my posts, and even better to acknowledge the fact that I could write many sentences inspired by small day to day incidences. Things were going good, but over the past few days, I do not feel that urge for reading or for writing. There is no reason or any explanation, yet i feel disconnected with the literary interests. Maybe, gradually I too am heading towards the dreaded term called "writers block"...

I can now feel the helplessness when there are so many thoughts banging in your delicate head, yet you are just unable to put them in a flow of words.You end up in a cyclone of thoughts , staring at the blank screen and looking for a single sentence to start.you feel handicapped and the words that actually define your feelings do not seem to exist in any dictionary..Such has been the case with me....even if i manage to write something, it lasts for just a few sentences, and then i feel that void taking over and my brain loses its track.
My mind starts wandering and the post looses direction.....
For many days, i excused myself on the contexts of being busy and pre occcupied..but gradually my friends have started insisting me to write..that too is for my own good.
It took me almost 3 posts to get back to the flow or writing..now atleast my mind has again started working!
Though the topics remain mundane..I still have lots of things in my mind- hundreds of thoughts everyday...so many words whose meanings i have apparently forgotten!
I wish to resume..I wish to rewrite!
Feeling positive! Feeling alive once again! :-)