Happy Rakshabandhan...

Happy Rakhi to all the siblings!

I miss the awesome celebrations -- at home, when there used to be a variety of sweets and colourful rakhis to choose for each brother , who in turn used to take special care of sisters.Getting up on time, and preparing the meethi Sivai and Raam Rakhis, and choosing for special dishes to be prepared for that day.The fast we did before tying the Rakhi and doing the pooja.That day even the fights were reduced and Bhai talked extra sweetly , though just for a day. :-P
I even recall warning my bhai at times that if he fought with me, then I wont tie him a rakhi and blackmailing him for following days to do my work, owing to his promise of taking care of me :-P
In school, Rakhi was an alltogether different celebration, while there were some guys who bought chocolates or small gifts from their pocket money to fulfill the tradition and proudly added few more sisters to their list each year,while there were some others who ran away from tagging the sweet friendship as brotherhood.
There were some who had no real sisters and thus valued the "mooh boli behen" as dearly as real sisters, while their were some girls who made brothers just to avoid spreading rumors about being in a relationship with that guy ...
So many crushes were crushed . :-P
Rakhi was just about celebrations , good food and good income in my childhood - a tradition followed blindly..

As i grow up,I try to understand the real reason for this celebration and the meaning of this relation. I feel Rakhi is a festival to celebrate a true relation, which connects to the heart and stays intact forever, even despite distances or time . It is not about sweets, or gifts , or even the symbolic thread and tilak..it is about trust and a promise to be there - as a support system.
Some times even "mooh bola bhai behen" bond can be stronger than the biological siblings, sometimes even a younger brother can help his sister , by just being around.Sometimes, even a sister can just protect her brother, by supporting him mentally and emotionally..
Its all about love !
No sister would want expensive gifts , or long conversations from a brother, all they would need is a faith , a confidence and a belief that they have someone to rely on, to care for them - unconditionally!
We do not want you to fight for us , like a filmy hero, but we just need you around , day in and day out- to tease, to fight, to laugh with, to talk and to get guidance .
Rakhi is not just a festival for one day, but a promise to be fulfilled over lifetime.. :-)

Fear

" Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up
into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason
has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action---
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake."

These are the lines from a poem by Tagore, one which we were made to read as a part of our curriculum in Class 10th. Unknowingly, some lines from it struck to my head, and are frequently reminded by certain incidences in daily life.
I am forced to think about the extent to which Tagore's wish has been fulfilled..and sadly, I conclude his foresightedness about our country's devastated affairs has won over the simple wish of "Freedom" , which appears a justified human right.
Recently,in context to the rape case of a 5 yr old girl in New delhi, like every concerned Indian,  i too was discussing the safety of fairer sex in our country.As the conversation flowed, we all added our personal experiences about eve teasing and the routine mis- happenings that are so common in our daily life.
There were 4 of us , and to my surprsie, everyone had few disheartening personal experiences to share. Being females, we could very well understand each other's grief, and could relate well. We almost sympathized with each other, and yet, while discussing all this stuff..there was an inexplicable sense of helplessness.
A void feeling, a feeling of embarrassment, a feeling of fear, a feeling of being petite, a feeling of being weak...and an unspeakable shame! Shame on the country where we live, shame on the society where we sustain and shame on the mindset of people.
Each of us had a gush of anger, and we all spoke the same thing " Why were we to suffer! What gave guys the license to do away with anything! How would guys feel if the same attitude was adapted towards them. What pleasure would a sane human derive by harassing another innocent human! Why was all this so so common! Why did people take things for granted! And how could this be curbed! "
After narration of any such incidence, there was a sad silent phase..that moment of silence was the deadliest one. It was suffocating.
What was even more heart shattering was our own reaction to such incidences.
After 2-3 incidences, one would get instigated and would say that "It's unfair to be silent! Atleast some answer should be given to these bastards...even if its just a slap!" and the very next moment, others would advise her- " You don't need to be a Jhansi Ki Raani. You alone can not bring the change, and trust me, guys just take a minute to ruin your life forever! They have big bloody egos! Have you not heard the cases where acids are thrown, or the faces are cut, only because of a single slap! It's the best to bow your head and keep moving, ignore such lewd comments! Forget such incidences and just be cautious at all the times. " Sadly,  it even made sense!
We live in a country where media never misses to highlight the cases where " A girl was molested after she did not agree to be girlfriend of someone" or " A girl was swayed in front of a moving bus, after she shouted on the guys who whistled on her" or "a girl was troubled by blank calls, after she shouted back on the guys who stared at her."
We live in a country where females are the ones to be blamed if things so wrong. A country, where if a girl stays out till night, even for some important works, she is considered as careless, a country where if a girl roams around with a group of guys, she is blamed of being too "bold" and "welcoming"..if a girl publicly talks about her own safety, she is considered as indecent.
Yet, its the same country where girls are encouraged to strive for competition with guys in professional growth.
Hypocrite society!

It's pitiable! In a country where females are supposedly reverred as mothers and prayed in the form of goddess, in a country where people fast and seek blessings from little girls during Navratri pooja..in the same country females are forced to live a shielded life...
How can a person live freely when there is a constant fear in his head..how can a person trust anyone, when there are more bad people than good ones..how can a person not be suspicious about even the innocent people, how can a person forget about the pool of emotions when even once he had to face such humiliations...I wonder about it...
Sadly, Tagore's wish has not been fulfilled..we, the humans have failed to do so.And not just for this generation, the pshycological effect of this fear shall be noticed even in the posterity.

I have learned that....

1. I have learned from my grandfather that one should never walk bare foot, even inside the house. This is a habit that is kind of imbibed in me , right from childhood. I have seen the days, when my grandfather used to scold us if he saw us without footwear. It may or may not be a very good habit, but for me it compensates for my laziness in washing feet often. I am glad that due to this habit inculcated by my grandfather, i do not put dirty toes on my bed.
2. I have learned from my mother to invariably use dustbins. I have seen many people who throw toffee wrappers or small  titbits of paper in the room, especially at nights, since the daily sweeping is bound to happen in some hours. But somehow,I am still not able to do it. Even when I feel very lazy to walk till the bin, I try to keep the waste in my pockets and dispose it whenever I get up next. This small habit has really inspired my room mate , who tries to follow the suit now .
3.I have learned from my grandmother to smile a lot. When she died, I remember people repeated the same thing regarding her- “We shall miss her permanent smile:” That inspired me- come whatever big or small issue, her smile never ever faded. I trained myself to be like that. It has helped me in many ways.Smile is a part of my personality now.Atleast that is people’s impression about me.Hope to have the same last impression on people whom I know
4. I have learned the importance of “Sorry ” and “Thankyou” from the Hollywood movies and from my father Small and stupid as it may sound, but it is true! I value these words! Many people are miser when it comes to their free usage, as they so called express unasked formality among friends and close people. But, right from childhood, I noticed my father never missed to say a “Thankyou” when i handed him his cup of tea, or offered him water, or any such small thing. I appreciated that acknowledgement. Same is the case with “Sorry”. One word can save valuable relations in just a minute! I use these words generously, and am often urged not to be so formal..Yet, I firmly believe in them.
5. I have learned to not waste anything- may it be food, water, light or even money. I make sure to switch off lights and fans before leaving the room, turning off water tap as soon as it is done, serving only that much food in plate,which I can consume,etc.I do not know the source of this learning, maybe it is a family tradition that got inculcated in my nervous system.But i appreciate this learning and I wish to continue with it forever.
6. I have learned that sometimes it is okay to let go! Holding on to some things and memories is only a pain, and a waste of time and energy. Sorrows blinden us for a better future.Sometimes, despite best possible efforts , things go wrong! One should be acceptable and bold enough to face this truth. Times change, people change, circumstances change.It’s best to be open for such changes, what is genuinely yours will come back to you eventually! What does not come back to you, was never meant for you and does not deserve your attention and time. Forget the bad, forgive easily and do not fail to realize the important things in life.Life is too short to keep worrying about the past. This learning is still in infancy, yet i can see the benefits already.
7. I have learned that your mood is totally in your hands. You are the only person who can decide how you wish to feel about yourself, and what kind of mood do you want for yourself. You have total power to mould your mood.Once you decide to stay happy, all bad things also fail to bother you! The friend who gave me this learning actually implemented this in her life. On the day her brother was struggling for his life, she knew she had to stay in a happy mood to present a strong face for her family.She was calm and did her best to divert her attention and focus on her responsibilities. I was proud of that friend.
8. I have learned that sometimes it is important to discuss things with people who hold value in your life. they care for you, breaking the ice strengthens the relations and also makes one feel light and happy
These are the important things which I can think of as my learnings so far. I am glad that i gave a thought to this ..:)